Santa: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
**********
Santa: Why are you heating the knife.
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.
**************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi was four years old
**************
Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th
**************
Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.
**************
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and
said ”April fool.I have pass”.
********************
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
**********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
**********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.
**********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
**********
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai 
==========================================
Sardar : What is the name of your car?


Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".

Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai

==================================
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley

1st Sardar: chal police ko de k atey hain.

2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?

1st sardar: jhoot bol dain gay, ke 1 hi mila tha


Teacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”

Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.

Teacher: Spell it?

Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.


A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,

This is my sardarni,

He is my kid,

and…. she is my kidney.


Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!

Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC1760!!


Sardar to his friends : For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.

I don’t know how she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says,

“Please recharge your balance soon.”


Once a Sardarji was going to his office.

On the way, he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.

Next day, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed, “Array, aaj to choice hai.”

=========================================
One fine day, a girl proposed to a Sardar for marriage and Sardar denied simply saying that, “in our family, we marry only our

relatives.”

My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on.

So please excuse me!!!

============================
Sardar enters kitchen,opens sugarbox,looks inside&closed it.His wife asked him why do you do so?

Sardar:doctor advised me to test sugar.

=====================================
Sardarji to Peon : I asked you to buy 2 sheets of white paper, you bought only one? Peon: No problem sir, we can take a photocopy of this sheet.

=====================================================
2 Sardar In ATM

Srdr1:Ha..Ha..,I Saw Ur Password.

Srdr2:What Is It?

Srdr1:It Is 4 Stars(****)

Sardr2:Ha..Ha..U R Wrong,It Is 4017
================================================
Judge: why are u arrested?


Sardar: for shopping early?

Judge: well, that's not a crime, anyway how early were you shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop
===========================================
Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar : Take my card

Waiter : But sir, this is Ration Card.
============================================
Sardar joined a new job. On the very first day he worked till late evening on the computer.

Boss was happy and asked him what he did till evening.

Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
=============================================
Boss: Where were you born ?

Sardarji: Oye Punjab.

Boss: Which part?

Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.
=============================================
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied : Ok! We’ll apply next year.
=============================================
In an interview,

Interviewer : How does a scooter run?

Sardar : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr………….

Interviewer shouts : Stop it!!

Sardar : Dhhuurrrr dhupp dhupp dhupp dhupp……… ==========================================
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…

Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.

Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?

Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
================================================
Sardar talking on cell.

2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.

1st Sardar : Biwi se…

2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?

1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
===================================================
Sardar in Mysoor palace. Tourist guide: sir, dont sit there, its Tippu sulthans chair. Sardar: dont worry, I will get up when he comes.....
=================================================
Sardar was driving his bicycle fastly. Suddenly a bus came opposite to him. Sardar angrily asked to the bus driver: " Ninaku chavan ente cycle mathrame kittiyullo"
================================================