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Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Santa: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
**********
Santa: Why are you heating the knife.
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.
**************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi was four years old
**************
Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th
**************
Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.
**************
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and
said ”April fool.I have pass”.
********************
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
**********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
**********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.
**********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
**********
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai
==========================================
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai
==================================
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k atey hain.
2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol dain gay, ke 1 hi mila tha
Teacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”
Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher: Spell it?
Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
and…. she is my kidney.
Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC1760!!
Sardar to his friends : For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
I don’t know how she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says,
“Please recharge your balance soon.”
Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way, he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed, “Array, aaj to choice hai.”
=========================================
One fine day, a girl proposed to a Sardar for marriage and Sardar denied simply saying that, “in our family, we marry only our
relatives.”
My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on.
So please excuse me!!!
============================
Sardar enters kitchen,opens sugarbox,looks inside&closed it.His wife asked him why do you do so?
Sardar:doctor advised me to test sugar.
=====================================
Sardarji to Peon : I asked you to buy 2 sheets of white paper, you bought only one? Peon: No problem sir, we can take a photocopy of this sheet.
=====================================================
2 Sardar In ATM
Srdr1:Ha..Ha..,I Saw Ur Password.
Srdr2:What Is It?
Srdr1:It Is 4 Stars(****)
Sardr2:Ha..Ha..U R Wrong,It Is 4017
================================================
Judge: why are u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime, anyway how early were you shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop
===========================================
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar : Take my card
Waiter : But sir, this is Ration Card.
============================================
Sardar joined a new job. On the very first day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked him what he did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
=============================================
Boss: Where were you born ?
Sardarji: Oye Punjab.
Boss: Which part?
Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.
=============================================
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Sardar replied : Ok! We’ll apply next year.
=============================================
In an interview,
Interviewer : How does a scooter run?
Sardar : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr………….
Interviewer shouts : Stop it!!
Sardar : Dhhuurrrr dhupp dhupp dhupp dhupp……… ==========================================
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…
Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?
Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
================================================
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
===================================================
Sardar in Mysoor palace. Tourist guide: sir, dont sit there, its Tippu sulthans chair. Sardar: dont worry, I will get up when he comes.....
=================================================
Sardar was driving his bicycle fastly. Suddenly a bus came opposite to him. Sardar angrily asked to the bus driver: " Ninaku chavan ente cycle mathrame kittiyullo"
================================================
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
**********
Santa: Why are you heating the knife.
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.
**************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi was four years old
**************
Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th
**************
Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.
**************
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and
said ”April fool.I have pass”.
********************
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
**********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
**********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.
**********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
**********
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai
==========================================
Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai
==================================
2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k atey hain.
2nd sardar: agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol dain gay, ke 1 hi mila tha
Teacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”
Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher: Spell it?
Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
and…. she is my kidney.
Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC1760!!
Sardar to his friends : For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.
I don’t know how she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says,
“Please recharge your balance soon.”
Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way, he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed, “Array, aaj to choice hai.”
=========================================
One fine day, a girl proposed to a Sardar for marriage and Sardar denied simply saying that, “in our family, we marry only our
relatives.”
My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my aunt and so on.
So please excuse me!!!
============================
Sardar enters kitchen,opens sugarbox,looks inside&closed it.His wife asked him why do you do so?
Sardar:doctor advised me to test sugar.
=====================================
Sardarji to Peon : I asked you to buy 2 sheets of white paper, you bought only one? Peon: No problem sir, we can take a photocopy of this sheet.
=====================================================
2 Sardar In ATM
Srdr1:Ha..Ha..,I Saw Ur Password.
Srdr2:What Is It?
Srdr1:It Is 4 Stars(****)
Sardr2:Ha..Ha..U R Wrong,It Is 4017
================================================
Judge: why are u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime, anyway how early were you shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop
===========================================
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar : Take my card
Waiter : But sir, this is Ration Card.
============================================
Sardar joined a new job. On the very first day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked him what he did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
=============================================
Boss: Where were you born ?
Sardarji: Oye Punjab.
Boss: Which part?
Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.
=============================================
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Sardar replied : Ok! We’ll apply next year.
=============================================
In an interview,
Interviewer : How does a scooter run?
Sardar : Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr………….
Interviewer shouts : Stop it!!
Sardar : Dhhuurrrr dhupp dhupp dhupp dhupp……… ==========================================
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way…
Friend : Why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?
Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
================================================
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
===================================================
Sardar in Mysoor palace. Tourist guide: sir, dont sit there, its Tippu sulthans chair. Sardar: dont worry, I will get up when he comes.....
=================================================
Sardar was driving his bicycle fastly. Suddenly a bus came opposite to him. Sardar angrily asked to the bus driver: " Ninaku chavan ente cycle mathrame kittiyullo"
================================================
Monday, April 27, 2009
Boss Is Boss
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an ******.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an ******.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
Funny Definitions of Designations at Office
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a
Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even
if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to
Produce a baby .
and lastly.................
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the
Right baby
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a
Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even
if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to
Produce a baby .
and lastly.................
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the
Right baby
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